The prostate (sometimes known as the P-spot) is the anal gateway to achieving mighty full-body orgasms.

This walnut-sized gland can be found about two inches inside the rectum of cis-men and people with prostates. This magical spot is responsible for creating the fluid that makes up cum and helping it shoot out.

The prostate is surrounded by nerve endings that when stimulated safely will have you quivering with pleasure. Rumour has it that some people have had the best orgasms of their lives playing with it.

Knowing what to look for when engaging in self-play or playing with others, and where to look for it, is the key to unlocking that sweet, sweet feeling between your legs.

So, grab the lube, find a comfy location, put on your sexiest playlist and get ready to meet your prostate.

Where is it?

The prostate is about a thumb’s length inside the anus, towards the belly button.

You can find it from outside the anus by searching the taint, the skin between the anus and the scrotum. Try feeling for the area that feels softer and fleshier than the rest, towards the back (away from the balls). If you feel the sensation of needing to pee, you’re in the right place.

If you’re looking for it from the inside, it’s the fleshy bulb of tissue on the front wall of the rectal lining – it will feel different from everything else in there.

It might take a while to get comfortable with inserting things into your butt, so take your time and listen to your body. Be patient, it’s worth it. And remember, the more aroused you are – the easier it will be to find the P-spot.

I’ve found it, where’s my orgasm?

All bodies are different, and not everyone likes their coffee the same way. Similarly, it might take some time to figure out what makes you tick.

Experimenting with different techniques by yourself or with your partner(s) can be fun and sexy. If you are playing with others, communicate what feels good and what doesn’t. Some minor discomfort at the start is normal but you should never experience severe pain.

It could be a good idea to try the techniques below on yourself first before letting others in on the party.

Let’s lube up and slide in

Using your fingers?

• Come hither: A classic technique you may have tried or experienced, is the “come hither” motion. Gently insert your lubed index finger into your butt and curl your fingers towards the bellybutton. Increase the speed and pressure as you get more comfortable.
  
  
• Doorbell: Imagine you’re at your orgasm’s house and you are gently pressing the doorbell, except the doorbell is your prostate. Try out changing up the pressure or holding the press a bit longer or shorter.
  
  
• Circling: Use your finger to gently draw circles all around the prostate. You can also mix it up with more pressure and speed on this one!

Using toys?

If you’ve invested in an anal sex toy or two, then you can add some depth and vibration to your prostate massaging.

Use plenty of water-based lube because silicone-based will melt your silicone toys.

• Inside and out: Look out for prostate massagers with an extension for your taint too. Double stimulation baby.
  
  
• Vibrations: If your toy has speed and pulse settings, start off slow and speed up as you get closer to orgasm.

Give your toys a clean after you finish up to avoid bacteria and infections.

Tips to prepare:

If you want to get the most out of prostate play, and stay safe while doing it, here are some things to consider:

• Get comfortable: Being relaxed and horny will make the experience easier and more pleasurable. Some ambient lighting, nice aromas or your favourite porn video might help set the mood for what’s to come (hint: it’s you).
  
  

• Use the bathroom: Some people find that using the bathroom and having a shower before engaging in anal play makes the experience more relaxing. Prostate stimulation can make you feel like you need to pee, while anal play can make you feel like you need to poo. You won’t do either but going beforehand can ease any anxiety.

If you're happy to, you might want to douche beforehand – and yes, we do have a guide for that!

• Trim and file your nails/ Wash your hands: Having tidy nails will ensure that you don’t rip or scratch the delicate skin in and around the anus. Wounds inside the anus can lead to an increased chance of acquiring STIs during sex. Clean hands also help keep you and your partner(s) safe when engaging in finger play without a condom.

If you’d like some condoms for finger play, you can get some here! 

• Have lube handy: There are a different types of lube for different sensations. As a rule-of-thumb water-based lubes are an all-purpose option that won’t harm condoms or your precious sex toys. Reapply as needed to avoid anal fissures. 
  
  

Remember it might take a while before you become a prostate professional but the pay-off for taking your time is worth it.

Take pleasure in pushing, rubbing and vibrating your prostate until you bust!