We gay men tend to put a lot of emphasis on being good at sex, and a lot of guys seek out new ways to improve and enjoy their sex-lives. A lot of us have a fantasy or fetish, whether it's for men in rugby-shorts or being spanked, or for spanking men in rugby-shorts!

For some guys it's sex-toys, for some it's a style of dress, or how they make their body look. Some men move through all sorts of roles, and some stick to just one. For some it's something they do once or twice a year, for others it's how they live their life. If it  makes for more fun while you're fucking, then why not?

In lots of ways, fetish or kink sex is often the safest form of sex there is. So much of it is based around the headspace rather than the body, that often the action, while pretty intense, doesn't have to involve any actual fucking.

The ‘Leather Scene’ is probably the most obvious example of this for gay guys. The image of strong and sexy men in leather is a popular one and a strong one - we see it a lot and it's been around for decades. The image stays powerful and hot. But just because a guy is wearing leather doesn't mean he is into anything more than the clothes. Some men just love the smell, feel and look of leather, but for some guys it signals that they're into a world of sexual kink.

Generally, the men in this world have been around a while, and are pretty clued up when it comes to safe-sex and looking after their sexual partners. There really is such a thing as Leather Pride, and a leather community. They take so much pride in being good at fucking that they also take pride in keeping everyone safe.

It can look like a closed world from the outside, but once you make a few contacts it's pretty friendly. If you're interested but shy a good place is to look online. There are a few speciality sites, like www.recon.com, but even the ordinary ones often have guys who talk about their fetishes in their profiles.

For some, it is just talk. Some guys love to explore their fantasies and kinks by chatting online. It can be a good way to figure out what turns you on without going too far too fast. Our sexual fantasies are private and it's not weird if you find them embarrassing to talk about or act on - some of us just enjoy them purely as fantasy and never want to make them real. But some of us do, and that can be a whole lot of fun.

It's not for everyone, but if you think it's for you, don't be scared. You're not a freak, you're not a pervert. You're just experimenting and finding out what you like.