For many gay and bi guys, their first experience with gay sex was probably watching it online in porn.

Gay porn is a completely normal way to start exploring your sexuality and it might even help you figure out what types of sex you might like and definitely don’t like. However, it’s important to remember than some porn doesn’t provide a full representation of what sex is like in real life.

Does watching gay porn mean I'm gay?

Your sexuality is defined by you and you alone. The type of porn you like doesn’t define your sexual identity.

Exploring different types of porn might help you find something you’re really into and want to try or it might just be curiosity, for example about bodies.

Some guys like watching gay porn but would never be interested in having real-life sex with a guy and they also don’t identify as gay or bi.

Or gay guys might watch some straight or bisexual porn without wanting to try it out themselves.

The cool thing about porn is you can explore what turns you on in a safe environment.

Keeping it private

If you’re looking to enjoy your porn privately, here are some tips on how to stay incognito when browsing online:

• Literal incognito mode on your browser. It won’t save your browser history.
• Alt-X (formerly known as Twitter) account. A lot of guys use the bookmarks tab on X to save their favourite porn by their favourite creators.
• Don’t forget to delete your browser history if you’re not using incognito.

If you do get caught, it may feel scary or like ‘the end of the world’ but remember that most people have probably masturbated to porn at least once in their life and a lot of people watch it regularly.

It’s normal and you’re not a freak or pervert because you enjoy it.

Gay porn vs. reality

Porn is usually a controlled, scripted, and planned environment made for consumption.

This means that while it might look ‘real’ (yes, they’re having sex for real), it’s not authentic to how most people are having sex.

Porn stars/actors are professionals that are having sex for your enjoyment, rather than their own. So not all of the positions or actions they do will be as pleasurable for you or your partner.

Don’t let porn be the standard for your sex life or be disappointed if it’s a little more awkward or messy.

Real-life sex tends to be funny and awkward when you’re first working out where things go and what feels good. Experimenting with someone you trust is part of the fun. Don’t take it too seriously.

It’s also important to remember that most porn stars have fit bodies and larger than average dicks, they are chosen for these. Don’t compare yourself to these models, everybody and every dick is beautiful, no matter the shape, size, colour, etc.

Most porn you watch these days doesn’t involve condoms. As we’ve said before, these people are often in controlled environments with strict HIV and STI testing in place. And wherever a condom is not being used, these stars are using PrEP to keep themselves safe from HIV and will be testing for other STIs regularly. Some will also be living with HIV and be on effective treatment, meaning they cannot transmit the virus to their co-stars.

Ethical / Safety

There are some ethical and safety concerns when it comes to browsing and consuming porn.Not all porn is created equal.

Porn on sites like Pornhub isn’t always screened, and the content could be stolen, or the actors could be underage or taken advantage of.

The most ethical way to consume porn is knowing that the creators have either put the content out for free themselves (via a porn studio or a social media account) or it is paid content (via a studio or something like OnlyFans).

X (formerly known as Twitter) is a really popular way to find ethical porn and connect with your favourite creators, professional and amateur.

It’s also important to remember that most consent conversations between porn stars will be cut out of the final video, or the consent has been given off camera. The takeaway here is don’t do what you see them do, your real-life sex life will not and should not be like most videos you see in porn.

Sometimes watching too much porn can affect the way we have sex in real life.

There might come a time you want to check your relationship with porn, and maybe take a break.  

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