Please be aware that this blog contains references to both faeces and food.

This is the second, and more comprehensive, instalment of a 2-part series on scat play. If you’ve found your way here and haven’t seen Part 1, you might want to give it a read first so you know the basics.

If you just need a quick refresher:

• Scat (short for scatophiliac) refers to a sexual fetish that incorporates faeces into sexual play
• It exists on a wide spectrum, from smearing all the way to consuming faeces
• It's more common that you think, but often not talked about due to significant stigma
• It's existed for centuries, and has been referenced in many different cultural sexual practices
• It's often intertwined with other kinks and fetishes, and often (but not always) related to other forms of submission or humiliation play
• There is no clear consensus on why some people are sexually aroused by faeces, however it's generally accepted that it's probably related to experiences of faeces and sex early in life
• The level of safety depends on individual bowel functions, the general health of the person/people involved, and the level of engagement
• Safer scat paly means avoiding exposure with the mouth, genitals, mucous and inner linings
• We don't recommend consuming faeces in any context, given the health risks. However, it is likely safer to consume your own faeces than that of a partner's. 

Talking shit: Consent and communication

With a topic like scat play, consent is a good place to start, and we recommend that this consent is sought well before you start engaging in sex.

Some fetishes, like foot play, carry less social stigma, so they can feel easier to bring up spontaneously. For example, “hey do you mind if I suck on your toes while I jerk off?” They may say no, but getting off on feet is pretty common, so the fear of rejection is often lower.

Scat play is different. Although no consensual sex should be stigmatised, it’s pretty undeniable that it is, so it’s worth coming in prepared. Whether you’re introducing faeces that has been pre-defecated into sex, or you’re defecating during the sex itself, it’s not something we recommend springing on a partner when you’re already in the act.

Communicating with sexual partners about a desire to experiment with scat play is a daunting prospect for many people, as there is so much stigma surrounding the topic. However, it’s a very necessary barrier you need to address to do it safely for all parties involved, and this communication should happen multiple times in different contexts.

Before sex:

As mentioned, this is a great time to have the initial conversation. Unless you’ve received very clear signals that they’re also into it, we recommend treating the conversation with a bit of gravitas. You don’t need to make it a big thing if you don’t want to, but it’s probably not something you want to casually drop when they’re least expecting it, either. Let them know you’d like to talk about exploring some sexy stuff you haven’t tried together before and create time and space to have the chat in a place where you’ll both be comfortable.

Some people like to just discuss their general preferences, including “soft” and “hard” limits – a BDSM concept which could also apply here - while others find having a worksheet with a list of kinks really helps them understand what they’re talking about. If someone says scat is a hard limit, you know they’re not the partner to explore this with. If they express being open to it or simply don’t mention scat specifically, you can feel a bit more confident starting that conversation.

We can’t tell you the words to say – only you will know how best to discuss it with a specific person – but plan what you want to communicate and what you want out of it ahead of time to ensure you’re prepared for all eventualities. Here’s a few thought staters:

• Do you want to be the giver or receiver, or both (from a scat perspective)?
• What are the risks that might potentially be involved?
• How could your partner(s) can be a part of your fantasy?
• Be open to answering any questions that may come up throughout the discussion.
• You’ll also need to be prepared for them to not be receptive to the idea, and that’s totally their prerogative.
• One way to bring it up with partners is to joke about it during a discussion around fetishes and gauge the reaction – then have a serious conversation about it if it seems like there might be interest.

During sex:

This is absolutely not the time to have the initial conversation. It may be tempting – anal sex includes a very real possibility of poop becoming involved whether or not you planned for it, so it might come up unexpectedly. If you haven’t already raised it, now is not the time. Put it in your back pocket to discuss later, and resist temptation to act on any urges you have in-the-moment as you won’t have gained prior consent (even if you think they may not notice).

However, if you’ve had a conversation and they’re willing to give it a go, you’ll need to ensure you communicate and gauge consent throughout the entire process. When you first get started, you may find this takes you out of the moment – stick with it, because you’ll get better at it over time.

After sex:

If you’ve just experimented with scat play, and your partner(s) is open to it, you could experiment with using your post-coital cuddle as a debrief session (after your clean-up, of course). Try to be non-judgmental during this time, both with yourself and others – at least one of you may have mixed feelings after-the-fact, but provided there has been ongoing communication and consent, it can be useful and even cathartic to unpack this. If it doesn’t fit the vibe, have a think about who else you could talk to (i.e. a therapist, or an online chat group).

If you’ve not already had the initial conversation, after sex might also be a great time to open up to a partner(s) if you had the urge to engage in scat play while being intimate with them.

Doing shit: How to get started with scat play

If you’re interested in scat play, and have effectively communicated with and gained consent from a partner(s) - hopefully you read the previous section of this blog thoroughly – but aren’t sure exactly how to get started, here are some great pointers:

• You could watch ethical porn to get an idea about the different ways in which you can engage with it.
• You could try defecating into your own hands or have a partner(s) defecate into their hands and see how this feels before moving onto other body parts.
• It’s useful to practice getting used to the different sensations and senses involved with scat to become more comfortable
• Having sex with faeces present but without engaging with it – either in or around the anus, or on the surface on which you’re having sex - is another great way to check your comfort levels.
• Once you’re comfortable, you could then move on to defecating on or being defecated on by a partner(s). You may want to try using your fingers to play with it, or massage with it, as a next step.
• Keep in mind that what you eat and what time of the day you’re playing is going to affect the composition of your and/or your partner(s)’ scat. If you have a particular idea in mind of what you expect/want, be realistic and work with each other’s bodies.

Messy shit: The clean-up

Once the sex is over, it’s a good idea to clean up straight away as you may not feel as comfortable with the feel and smell once the heat of the moment has passed.

The clean-up will be heavily dictated by the surface on which you’ve had sex. It’s a good idea to review this to determine what surface you’d like to use prior to sex:

Shower / bathtub: Engaging with scat play on an insoluble surface such as metal or porcelain makes for the best clean up. Make sure to flush any solid waste down the drain before cleaning it thoroughly. Machine-wash any cleaning cloths you’ve used in hot water.

Concrete*: For those who want to play outdoors (and who don’t mind/get off on using an abrasive surface), concrete is another good option, though you’ll need to consider how you plan to dispose of any solid waste, as just hosing it onto the lawn and hoping for the best isn’t ideal… either locate a nearby drain, or have surgical gloves on hand to dispose waste effectively.

Grass / bush*: For those who want a more comfortable outdoor experience, engaging in scat play directly on grass or in the bush is also an option – you won’t need to worry about hosing the area down as you’re on a natural surface, though it’s still a good idea to think about how you’ll dispose of solid waste.

Carpet: Unless you have a rug-doctor handy, we don’t recommend this option. If it’s truly all you’ve got, you could use bedding or other drop-cloths on top of carpet - see below for how to manage a clean-up with different types of sheets.

Ordinary bedding: This is, of course, the most common surface on which people have sex – but be aware that engaging with scat play will likely involve an element of seepage and staining, even after cleaning. Your sheets may be fine, provided they’re given a hot wash and you dispose of solid waste separately, but consider what your plan will be for the mattress (and most mattress protectors won’t be enough). Unless you really don’t mind sleeping on a poo-stained mattress, maybe steer clear of this one.

Disposable bedding: If you think that washing your sheets will be too much of a faff, you can buy disposable bedding from many retailers – but bear in mind that the more you engage in scat play, the more expensive this option will become!

Water-proof bedding: Water-proof bedding is specifically made for people who have issues with bed wetting or incontinence, so it’s also a great option for scat play! These are machine washable but are more insoluble so there’s less chance of the sheets being permanently damaged in the act.

* Please be aware that in is illegal to defecate in public unless you can prove it's unlikely that anyone saw you do it - so this is also something to bear in mind if choosing to have sex on 'outdoor' surfaces. 

Feeling shit: Shame and stigma

Internalised stigma:

Scat play is an intense fetish that is similar to other forms of humiliation and submission play in how they can make people feel. Experiencing extreme feelings can help some people "lose themselves" in the moment and let go of whatever day-to-day worries might be on their mind during sex. However, we need to be mindful of how this makes us feel after sex, and how to look after ourselves if we have feelings of shame, embarrassment, or regret.

In these situations, simply trying to show yourself some compassion is often easier said than done. However, there are a few practical strategies for dealing with internalised stigma:

• Radical acceptance: For many people, part of the pleasure of scat play is in the freedom of letting go of the stigma and shame that surrounds it, so engaging in scat play may be a way of tackling internalised stigma in and of itself. Just be mindful of any impact that the stigma has on your ability to communicate, give and receive consent, and engage in safer sex practices.
• Humour: Sometimes the most fulfilling sex is both silly and messy—it's okay to laugh, especially at yourself!
• Education and awareness: Knowledge is power; learning more about where scat play comes from and why people get turned on by it is a great way of better understanding your own interest in the subject. Try to stay curious and lean into it rather than push away.
• Social support: There are some great online (and perhaps even face-to-face) communities where you can chat with people who are in the same boat. Often, knowing you’re not alone and other people get where you’re coming from is really rewarding.
• Psychotherapy: If you’re still really struggling, and you have the funds, consider seeing a therapist or another allied health professional. It’s a difficult topic to talk about but trust us, most therapists have heard it all, and are trained to engage with clients in a judgement-free and confidential way.

NB: You may also anticipate stigma from sexual partners due to the nature of scat play, and whether or not this eventuates, anticipated stigma can be just as debilitating as other forms of stigma, and the same guidance applies.

Stigma from others:

Unfortunately, this may happen from time to time. Scat play isn’t for everyone, and even when you’re sure it’s safe to open up, you may get it wrong.

If you experience stigma from others, the first thing to remember is that their reaction is more about them than it is about you. Try not to escalate the situation further and find a way to shut down the engagement as quickly as possible.

The advice to not “feed the trolls” is applicable here: if someone is trying to shame you for liking scat, they’re just trying to feel powerful by getting a rise out of you. How lame of them! Bullies wither when they’re faced with confidence, so even though it can feel isolating and scary, remember that you’re the one out here exploring new ways to have a good time, and they’re the one with your sex life living rent-free in their head.

Wrapping shit up: Our final say

If scat play is your thing, or if you’re curious about whether it might be, we know how hard it is to find some reliable and stigma-free guidance out there! If you only took a few key things away from this blog, it should be:

1. Make sure you understand the health risks associated with scat play
2. Always have the conversation with partners ahead of time
3. Consider how easy the clean-up will be when deciding what surface to have sex on when engaging with scat play
4. Ethical porn is a great way to ease in without any mess or risk
5. Use forums to seek out your community online for social support
6. Stigma from others is never ok, and shouldn’t feed into how you feel about yourself, and your sexual practices.