Kia ora queens! Well, here we are again - and boy have I got some freshly brewed, piping hot tea for you!  

Heading into week four of isolation, and boy, is it just me getting ridiculously randy all cooped up and on my lonesome?! Having taken the advice of my darlings at Burnett Foundation Aotearoa, I've refrained from hooking up and, as such haven’t had my physical needs tended to in over 3 weeks. If this sounds like a bit of you, then read on sweetie - because Trutha has some lessons for you on how to get your rocks off in the most tasteful, respectful and fun ways (all without breaking quarantine)!  

We’re talking nudes. 

Remember, sharing nudes should be an empowering experience – create the content for you first and foremost!  

I’m gonna share with you my own personal secrets on how to be the best nude sharer you can be.  

​CONSENT 

Okay, so step one is an easy one. Everyone should be making sure the consent of all adults involved is confirmed before any content sharing occurs! This means 100% of the time, not just a one-off check-in.  

When you’re chatting to your cyber hunnies, and things are getting a little flirty, make sure that you receive a resounding YES from them before you go ahead and invade their screen with you glorious hole pics. This is really important, especially when communicating virtually, as you don’t have any non-verbal cues to work with. Unlike in real life, when you might be able to communicate to each other your consent with body language and lingering looks.  

An example of getting consent online might look like:  

Thot 1: “OMG hey beautiful, you’re looking really handsome today” 

Thot 2: “Oh hey! Thanks so much. You’re super sexy yourself” 

Thot 1: “How’re you holding up during isolation?” 

Thot 2: “I’m doing okay, except I’m super horny most of the time. How are you getting on?” 

[THIS IS THE CRUCIAL POINT – HORNINESS DOES NOT EQUAL CONSENT] 

Thot 1: “I’m about the same tbh. Horny all of the time” 

Thot 2: “OMG, moooood” 

Thot 1: “Can I help you out with that by sending you some naughty pics? 😉” 

Thot 2: “Yes, of course, that would be great” 

[Thot 1 flexibly works the angles and takes some sexy pics, then DMs them to Thot 2]

Thot 2: “Wow! You are so hot! Can I send you some pics back? 😉” 

Thot 1: Definitely! 

This is the best way to feel empowered and excited in exchanging nudes with another person and a great place to start in getting down and dirty while self-isolating.  

FACE OR NO FACE? 

This is a constant question when it comes to cyber-safety, trust and your own sense of what you’re willing to share with your nudey-pals online. One of the cardinal rules which circulates around is to not send nudes to someone you don’t know. I would recommend if you are meeting people in Cyberland during lockdown, have a Facetime, get to know each other, establish a connection and then, if you have a mutual understanding of consent and trust, go ahead and send them nudes!  

In terms of ♪♩ face, face, face, body and all, another day another slay ♪♩ (thank you Bebe Zahara Benet) - my personal rule is that I send face to people I know and trust, and have a connection with IRL. If I am sending nudes to someone I’ve met online during iso, then I will send nudes without face. It’s important to do a bit of detective work before sending anything to fish out those nasty catfish and pic-collectors. I once sent someone my nudes and they said “oh yeah I’ve already seen those” – well my reputation precedes me! We’ve likely had a catfish or two in our time and then we don’t know where our pics go – so, it’s best to be sure!  

HOW MUCH CAN I SHOW? 

This is a negotiation that we have to make every time we have an interaction with someone. Some people wanna see more, some wanna see less, others want to show more, others will show less. Some people won’t show anything, but like receiving nudes, others might like to send and not receive. Point is, everyone is different, so making sure people are consenting to what they are receiving is important! See the Thots below for a sexy example:  

Thot 1: OMG babe, you are fucking sexy!  

Thot 2: So are you zaddy! Wish I was isolating with you tbh 😉 

Thot 1: Those pics you sent before were so hot! Can I show you more of me? 

Thot 2: Depends what you wanna show.  

Thot 1: My cock 🍆 🍆 🍆? 

Thot 2: I think you’re super sexy babe, but what you’ve shown me already is enough to get me off zaddy x 

Thot 1: Awesome hottie! Hope you enjoy!  

OR 

Thot 1: fuuuuuck cutie, you’re looking fiiine!  

Thot 2: Whoa, so are you beauty!  

Thot 1: I’m so into those pics you sent. I’d love to see more of you, if you’re alright with that? 

Thot 2: For sure babe, do you wanna see my hole? 

Thot 1: That would be so hot! Yes please! 

Remember that once it goes on the internet, it’s on the internet, regardless if it’s a disappearing message - people can screenshot. Make sure you feel absolutely certain and great about the content you’re sending and how you are sending it. 

LIGHTING  

Now that we have the house rules out of the way...OMG. THIS. IS. SO. IMPORTANT.  

The first thing I will say is: YOU ARE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE AND YOU DO NOT NEED TO POP A FILTY ON WHAT YOU ARE SNAPPING. This means no filters, no re-sizing, no facetuning, no photoshopping. What you got is hot and you are a thot without the lot (you’re welcome). If you are looking for a little natural ehancement to make yourself just that little bit thottier, the easiest way to achieve this is through lighting. The way the light hits the curves, grooves and casts shadows on your bod is the best way to naturally enhance any pic. Phone cameras are basic bitches and you gotta give them all the help they can get. Using warm downlighting will help sculpt and enhance your natural glow. Or try some natural window lighting to get that healthy glow even in iso (this statement will not hold up through winter – don’t @ me!). Good lighting will ensure that your entire body can be seen (or just the parts that you choose to show if you get creative with shadows). 

ANGLES 

I find higher angles more flattering for my body type, but this is something that you should have fun experimenting with and find what works for you - and what you are intending to show 😉.  

For a full bod shot, I would go for a high angle with a slight back arch, coupled with the aforementioned warm downlighting. If I’m getting closer on the details, I would use a high angle view for a cock pic and a mid-low angle for a hole pic. These are just what works for me, you may get your nude jush using other positions and angles.  

Ask yourself – How do I look in a mirror selfie? What does it look like if I lie down? Should I try use an end-on self-timed perspective? The choice is yours! Have fun with seeing your gorgeous body in all the beautiful ways it can express itself. 

GET CREATIVE 

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE PART OF CREATING NUDES! Not all nudes have to show your cock or hole! Do you have some sexy lingerie? A Jockstrap? Harness? Kimono? Take your bussy to the prop department and find that perfect ‘costume-piece’ to enhance your nudes with a bit of a narrative. What character are you playing in the portrait? Just like Michelangelo created the statue of David, this is your chance to create your own fantasy!  

If you have a good thing going with your online co-nuder, maybe there’s a fun roleplay you could explore through your nudes and create a storyline through an album of photos. What role will you play? Another fun way to get creative with nudes is with literal art! Are you flirting or sharing nudes with someone who is an artist? Sometimes people like to do life drawing to extend their own creative practice. If they offer to paint or draw you, it can be very very very flattering – just make sure that you are totally comfortable with this before you say yes or no.  

Remember, that you can always say NO at any step along the way. If you do say yes, remember that it is one person’s ARTISTIC impression, it’s how they express sexuality in their art which is a WHOLE other realm of intimacy and connection – while you are being vulnerable sharing your body with them, they are being vulnerable sharing their art with you. Mutual respect in this context is PARAMOUNT!

ONLYFANS AND TWITTER 

Some people like to express their sexuality through sites and services like OnlyFans and Twitter. These avenues allow for people to feel empowered in the kind of sex they are having and share it with people who enjoy celebrating that content. These are not to be used against people in any, to slut-shame or yuck other’s yums.  

These are very valid avenues for people to share their eroticism. Consent applies here too (are you sensing a theme?) – we must never post any content on these sites that we do not own and no pics or vids that exhibit anyone who has not consented to being broadcast on these sites.  Again, what is important to remember is that any content we are viewing on these sites should be consented to. That means all those participating in the content should be over the age of 18 and you should always ask someone’s permission to post the content if they are in it, or if you are showing the content to another person. Twitter and OnlyFans are great ways to enjoy and be empowered by eroticism on the world (wide web) stage! 

Well, my darlings, here we are again.  

The tide is out in my cup and saucer and I know you’re ready for a refill – but my teapot is dry for now!  

I hope you enjoyed my top tips on creating saucy, salacious nudes with a conscience! Nudes should be fun, fab, flirty, fully consensual and, most importantly, empowering! They are an amazing way to connect from a distance and be intimate with those that share a mutual horniness at a time where sex is off the cards – for those of us who do not have someone to fuck in our bubble!  

As always, stay safe, be kind and keep it classy(ish)! 

Xoxo 

Trutha