When someone tells me that sex with their partner is boring – that they’ve already tried everything there is to try – it makes me want to scream. Sex is what you make of it, and if you’re a jaded old queen, then you’re going to have the sex of a jaded old queen. It’s time to get your shit together and get some spirit of adventure up in your boudoir.

The idea that trying out more adventurous sex will make regular sex boring is ridiculous! Trying out a bit of kink and challenging yourself only serves to teach you more about pleasure, meaning that all the sex you have gets enhanced from a better understanding. This isn’t hard drugs, this won’t desensitise you, you aren’t going to become some junkie who can only cum from having a fist in their ass; this is sex and it’s awesome, so stop pussyfooting around and work your way through the list I have lovingly compiled below.

Sex

Frottage

Frottage is sexual rubbing. Also known as frotting or dry humping, frottage is non-penetrative sex. Don’t think that a lack of penetrating means a lack of intimacy; speaking personally some of the most intimate and intense encounters I have had were spent doing this.

Mutual masturbation

Jerking off next to one another is great fun, especially when you’re watching a movie or playing a game and multitasking with full on penetrative sex is proving a bit difficult.

Docking

Docking is the insertion of one partner’s penis into the other’s foreskin. Obviously this means at least one of you will have to be intact. If you haven’t tried it you’ll be surprised how good it feels, especially if you’re cut.

Rimming

Rimming means ass-to-mouth. Nothing beats having a beautiful man sit on your face - just make sure he’s had a shower first.

Threesomes

If sex with just one other person is getting into a routine, why not mix it up by getting someone else involved. Bringing someone in, or hooking up with a couple, can be awesome, but it does rely very heavily on dynamic. If things are awkward, don’t force it, but if everyone is feeling it then go for gold!

Group sex

The next step is group play. Orgies are often hosted at saunas and other sex on site venues, so they’re easy to find if you’re keen to give it a try.

Outdoor sex

Nothing will make you feel like more of a man than sticking it in someone up against a tree, car, or the side of a building; just be respectful of others, make sure you aren’t doing it where someone is going to come along and see you.

DP

Double penetration can be a great time for the more experienced holes out there. Two in the bum is a lot of fun (your prostate will go wild), but it’s also very intense and requires protection, a fuck load of lube and an even bigger fuck load of patience.

Shower sex

Two things to keep in mind: safety and lube. Remove all obstacles from the shower beforehand and make sure you aren’t going to slip over. If you’re having penetrative sex silicone lube could be a winner as it isn’t water soluble - alternatively have a spare half a bottle of Durex to coat that condom-covered cock.

BDSM

Bondage

Ropes, chains, cuffs, scarves, or tape will all get the job done. Plan things out and practice a few knots before doing anything with a partner, always keep some scissors on hand for emergencies, and sort out a safeword in case one of you needs to abort.

Sub/Dom play

Dominating someone, or being someone’s slave bitch for the night is a lot of fun, but plan out what you’re going to do first so you’re both on the same page (especially if this is new for you), and make sure that the safe word is there so that you can break your roles and stop things at any time.

CBT

Cock and ball torture requires great care. Practice what you can handle first and never take risks that could cause real damage. This is definitely rated extra for experts; proceed with great caution.

Toys

Butt plug

Many a bottom will have a butt plug they used when getting used to taking a cock inside them. Plugs are also awesome to wear when topping as the pressure on your prostate gives you a bigger, harder erection.

Dildo

The best way to warm someone up for fucking. If the dildo is going into more than one person chuck a condom on it and change it between partners for easy hygiene maintenance. When it comes to butts, MAKE SURE YOUR TOY HAS A BASE. If it goes completely inside your butt you’ll need an embarrassing trip to the ER to get it out.

Double-ended dildo

Now who said two bottoms don’t equal a top? Double-ended dildos are one of our favourite toys; you’ll be amazed at how intimate an experience it is to use one with someone. The best position is with both partners on their backs, legs overlapped.

Prostate massager

Keen to cum handsfree? A prostate massager is the best way to train yourself. Just be aware that it will take some time and patience.

Masturbation sleeve

If you cum quickly when topping these can be a good way to train yourself to slow down. Fleshlight/Fleshjack are the best known brand, but if you’re spending some money, check out the Tenga Flip Hole.

Cock ring

One way to get a harder erection is to use a cock ring, though a lot of guys just use them for pleasure. There are different kinds that go around your cock, balls, and/or both, and ones that vibrate. A good starting point is an adjustable one so that you can make sure it’s not too tight.

Vibration play

Having something vibrating the underside of the head of your penis can make some guys cum; that’s right, no stroking required. It feels strange and awesome and it’s worth trying out. Vibrating toys in your butt feel great as well.

Electrostim

For some guys stimulation through electrocution is a big turn on. Make sure you only use proper electrostim gear or you could hurt yourself.

Fetishes

Roleplay

Doctor and patient? Professor and student? The prince and the stable boy? What part would you want to play?

Clothes on

Having sex in sports gear, uniforms, suits, or just regular clothes really gets some people wet. Give it a try, and, if you like it, give it a go with clothes on in the shower. Sounds odd, but it’s a fucking hot time.

Watersports

Into piss play? Start off in the shower and take it from there.

Fisting

Maybe find a buddy with small hands if you’re new to this. Get yourself some J-lube, nitrile gloves and a lot of patience. This should never be painful at any stage so make sure you work up slowly over a very long period of time.

Leather

Leather play is big, particularly in bear culture, and there is tonnes of sweet gear out there. From harnesses to whips you’re bound to find something you’re into.

Sounding

Urethral probes aren't that common, but people who like them like them A LOT. Use a probe that's designed for the job (not just the nearest Bic pen), and plain water-based lube. Best of luck.