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The Ins and Outs
Sex with other men can feel intimidating whether you’re just starting out or have been at it for a while, but haven’t had the best experiences.
We know, because we’ve been there ourselves. The flood of information out there can be overwhelming, and what we learned in school probably didn’t cover it all. That’s why we’ve put together these resources to help guide you. Written by community members for the community, we aim to make this journey as smooth and supportive as possible.
Dive into these modules however you like—start at the beginning or jump to what interests you most. Our goal is to help you feel confident and ready to enjoy yourself.
Remember, these are personal experiences and insights. Yours might be different, and for official education, look to additional resources.
We created this resource because we know that 85% of gay and bi guys did not get the information they need from their sex education, and 59% learn most of what they know about sex from porn (and porn is wildly different from reality).
Disclaimer: When we use terms like ‘boys’ or ‘guys,’ we’re referring broadly to any people for whom those terms resonate, or for people who may be interested or are already having sex with gay or bi guys. This includes our trans, non-binary, intersex, and takatāpui friends. Additionally, we’ve not yet covered penetrative vaginal/front-hole sex, keep your eyes peeled for more content coming.
How to have oral sex
Oral sex, also called a blow job, is a pretty common first step for guys when they’re starting on their sexual journey.
This oral sex 101 focuses mostly on sucking dick or giving head but we’ll also talk about eating ass or a rim job.
How to have anal (butt) sex
This Anal Sex 101 will walk you through the basics of how to have gay anal sex, including why gay sex feels good, and how to have anal sex for the first time.
How to date gay and bi guys
Dating any gender can feel like trying to solve a puzzle when you’re missing a few of the pieces.
It can also be a fulfilling experience filled with fun, laughs, adventure, and sex.
There’s a big chance they didn’t cover same-sex dating in school, so we’ve made this guide to give you some tips from people who have been there.
How to watch and enjoy gay porn
For many gay and bi guys, their first experience with gay sex was probably watching it online in porn.
This guide will cover some of the basics around how to watch porn safely, and the differences between porn and real life sex
How to prevent HIV and STIs
Sex education is all about sexual health, and because the world is set up for heterosexual people, there isn’t much information about sexual education for gay and bisexual guys.
We’ve pulled together this guide on everything you need to know about sexual health for gay and bisexual guys. This is the most important guide in this series.
How to hook up with guys
Okay, so you want to try hook-ups and meet new guys to have casual sex with?
There are tons of ways to meet guys for casual sex, finding regular friends with benefits, or relationships if that’s what you’re looking for.
This 101 will cover some of the places you can find guys to chat, meet, and connect with safely.
How to use apps like Grindr
In the first part of this 101 we talked about hook-up apps like Grindr as a common way to meet gay and bi guys for sex.
This guide will dive into the world of using apps like Grindr for sex.
How to prepare for anal (butt) sex
Preparing for your first time having anal sex might feel daunting, or maybe you’ve tried it a couple of times and it just hasn’t worked out the way you wanted it to. This guide, from people who’ve done it before, will have you ready to go having anal sex safely in no time.
How to enjoy anal (butt) sex
So you know you're into sex with guys but don't know whether you want to top, bottom, either or neither? There are different ways to enjoy anal sex with guys (or not at all) and once you know what you like, you'll be able to find guys who are into the same.
This anal sex 101 guide will help you figure out what you like and don't like.
How to decide if 'coming out' is right for you
There are different ways that you can come out, and you might want to do it now or later, or not at all. Do you have to come out to everyone? Does your doctor need to know about your sex life?
This guide will help you decide whether 'coming out' as a gay or bi guy is right for you.
How to have consensual sex with other guys
Consent is about making sure everyone in a sexual encounter feels safe, comfortable, and enthusiastic about the activities taking place, to ensure a pleasurable experience for everyone involved.
This guide will cover some important points about what consent looks like and communicating consent. Remember: Consent is sexy.